This is my
parenting philosophy in a nutshell:
Georgia will
be a baby for a short time and that is the only time in one’s life where everything
can and should be about you. So it is all about her. As Georgia gets older, she
will be expected to do things she doesn’t want to do, participate in things she
does not like and be around people who annoy her. My job is to expose her to
everything pleasant now, so her association with the world is happy and good,
which I hope will then imprint on her personality and she will view the world
and the people in it as happy and good.
That is not
to say that our house is covered in plastic toys or Georgia will never be given
boundaries or discipline. Quite the opposite, actually, but right now day-to-day
life revolves around her schedule and needs/preferences to the extent possible.
This idea
and our resulting choices apparently are very controversial and I have been
given quite a lot of guff about it from all sorts of people. Here is a little
insight into our thinking and the process – not that I have to explain myself,
because she’s my kid and it’s my choice.
Since this
blog is more or less about food, I will focus on our choice not to take Georgia
to restaurants until she is old enough to behave nicely and not make the
experience unpleasant for us and other innocent diners who are out for a nice
meal.
When she was
three months old, we declined to drag Georgia along to a fancy restaurant,
garnering a very huffy “Well! THAT CHILD is three months old! She should be
able to go to a restaurant!” As anyone who knows me, them’s fightin’ words and
I will not be bullied into doing anything – especially something that
violates what I think is right.
First of
all, she hated her infant car seat (you know the kind that pops out of the car
base and you carry around like an Easter basket) and screamed like a banshee
for as long as she was strapped in it. So we didn’t go on long outings. Second
of all, she did not want to go to a fancy restaurant. She wanted to sleep in
her bed, be held and hear stories and music. The end. Three-month-old babies
don’t have a wide variety of interests.
When Georgia
began eating food and expressed interest in what we ate – around eight months
or so – we took her to a family-friendly, local restaurant during off hours. We
wanted the place to be largely empty in case she pitched a fit . We ordered
upon sitting down so the process would be quick and we were poised to get to-go
boxes if things went awry. I am happy to report, Georgia had a marvelous time,
ate fish and some vegetables and we had about 30 minutes before her attention
span waned and she was ready to go. Given her age, 30 minutes was an eternity
and we were able to finish our meals and head home for naptime without
incident.
Another
choice I made was to totally ignore American eating guidelines of introducing a
new food every three days in case the kid gets a rash. Those rashes rarely harm
the child or even feel uncomfortable. While it may take a little research and
thought to try to pinpoint the offending food and eliminate it for a time, it isn’t that big of a deal.
There is a small window to offer new foods before the kid gets persnickety – not
the technical term, but definitely a developmental stage. I want Georgia to eat
as many different things as possible and be exposed to many tastes and
textures, so when she emerges from that persnickety stage, she will have a
greater chance of eating a variety of foods. At least that is what the research says.
Georgia has
been eating what we eat for months now. It is healthier for us, because I cut
out salt and include lots of vegetables, something that wasn’t always the case
when feeding just myself.
At 10-months
old, we have ventured out more with Georgia. The offending car seat is too
small and a thing of the past and Georgia can sit comfortably in those little
restaurant high chairs.
Recently we
went out of town for a little break and Georgia was so easy, because she was so
happy. She approached everyone she encountered with a wave and a smile, making
friends in a city that is not known for its friendliness. Because she eats what
we eat, feeding her was a breeze.
We had
scones and fresh fruit for breakfast. Georgia ate my Cornish hen and roasted
root vegetables by the fistful for supper. We went to a French restaurant,
where she ate salmon, vegetables and escargot. She shoveled in the little bits
of garlicy snail, wiggled happily in her seat and said “mmmm! Mmmm!” She drank
water out of a wine glass with my help. It was brilliant. At one point, our
waiter came over and proclaimed us “the coolest parents I have ever met,” partly
because our little daughter was so delightful and friendly to everyone and
partly because we declined the kid menu and fed her off our plates. He said
there are so many children who come in and eat the most atrocious things and he
could not believe the variety of things that a child of Georgia’s age happily
ate.
I don’t make
these choices for anyone but Georgia, but it was gratifying to have someone
appreciate and positively comment on Georgia’s disposition and her adventurous
eating habits.
It is too
soon to declare victory on my choices. It is impossible to tell whether this
behavior is all Georgia or if it stems from our parenting choices, but I like
to think that it is a partnership and we have helped her become this happy,
adventurous little person with pizzazz.
